Hard times

on BLOG, Coaching 16 Nov, 2016

Hard times

I'm living a series of complex situations and, as in a kind of resonance, even some friends and some current coachees are facing difficulties, hard choices, crisis, job losses, disappointments, problems. Moments that we hope will last little, when it seems that not just one, but the very majority of areas of our existence are heading in the wrong direction, in which we're frustrated because too few threads are in our hands, too many people seem different from what we thought they were ...

On these occasions, we must surely accept the friend's or coachee's pain, tiredness and frustration, but the main task of the coach is to challenge their new prejudices, their leaden predictions about the future, their negative, general and absolute judgments, helping them remain anchored to those few basic concepts, which will give a meaning and a purpose to their future, once the current hard times pass.

Questions like:

Who do you choose to be in this world, at this time?

What can you do to prevent that your ultimate goal change?

What can you do today, remaining proud even in a year time?

can put the coachee on track again, avoiding to react reactively (forgive the pun): the reaction is indeed an response to the impulse itself, a consequence of it, not an autonomous response of the subject. Also immersed in chaos we must maintain integrity, values, respect for ourselves and for others, intelligence, our level of wisdom: remember that to our coachees and our interlocutors is our role as coach. And, if you think about it, the crisis becomes a passage of suffering/difficulty, that leads to useful changes, to new people, new opportunities, new scenarios, to an updated and renewed vision of ourselves and the context in which we are. Is it better to avoid problems? Yes, but they cannot be eliminated, then it's better to build on them.

This approach has nothing to do with Zen, serendipity or other things that do not culturally belong to us: it's a responsible way to address the many disappointments and harshness of the terrain, learning to manage them, even in times of calm.

tempi difficili

"Even this station will pass without hurting,

this fine rain will pass, as the pain does. "

Fabrizio De Andrè, Hotel Supramonte, 1981.







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